Self Validation

Seth Godin recently bogged about how validation is over rated. He is referring to validation from others. I agree. We get pulled away from our own experience. We invest in the words and actions of others. We divest from our own actions.

Self validation is the important one. Others will have opinions. Since there are a lot of others out there, there will be a lot of opinions. My opinion about me is primary for me. Your opinion about you is primary to you. My opinion about you is secondary to you. Outside opinions can be very useful, but only as a reflection or contrast to your own opinion.

Children need external validation. It is part of a teaching process. Good teachers (we are all responsible for teaching the children!) work to make themselves obsolete.

My choice for teaching is through bodily experience- somatics. The truth of internal reality can be felt via the body. This is a path that disallows intellectually or socially imposed constructs. They are replaced by direct sensation. There is then a shift from the child model of other directed reality, to an adult model of personal validity.

We can accept social pressure to depend on approval. Disapproval can bring great fear- fear of being cast out from the tribe and left alone to die. But our social reality is that we are millions of tribes intermingling. We no longer need the validation of those geographically close to us to survive.

Modern communication also presents us with opinions from a multitude of distant sources. TV and news media re-enforce the alleged value of external authority. This has changed drastically in just a few decades. It is relatively new to be bathed in this ocean of opinions, so a new urgency has arisen for filtering out toxic input.

There are many strategies for reducing input. One of the most effective is to direct perception toward internal phenomena. Choosing to pay attention to the self attenuates the reception and impact of the external. Self exploration is more engaging and more profitable than reacting to the information storm of contemporary culture.

In a society where youth is exalted without regard for inherent foolishness, the voice of authority is childish and naive. Going against the current is wise and necessary. Attend to your physical reality and your personal sensations. They are your truth. Validate your self. It’s the adult thing to do.