Lopsided Different

Recently after Feldenkrais class a student told me that the biggest insight was in her sense of her body.  She said standing and lying down were not the same, that she was shaped differently. She called it “lopsided different”. She feels her standing has some deviations from a balanced and centered position. She expected to feel this same shaping when she was lying down. But by checking in carefully with her self, she found that she was actually arranging herself in another way.

Our bodies are not made of wood or stone. We are able to reshape ourselves. We tend to think we are just “made that way”, but the reality is that we have habits- habits so strong that we come to  believe in them as facts.  The good news is these can be altered.

What does it take? It takes noticing that the habit exists. As soon as a habit comes under examination, we start to change. It is our image of our bodymind reality that controls much of our habits. we act according to our expectations of our self. The choice to examine a habit softens the image, making it more malleable

Dr. Feldenkrais said, “If you know what you are doing, you can do what you want.” We are often doing something quite different from what we think we are doing. We have old injuries, emotional needs that may be hidden from ourselves, and places of incomplete learning. These all can be at odds with what we are trying to accomplish.

Here’s Rodin’s marvelous rendition “Saint Pierre”. Rodin had a particular genius for showing how our idiosyncrasies create character.

We don’t need to resolve everything to perfection to be able to function accurately. We can cope quite well if we take into account our quirks. awareness allows us to step around the obstacles that previously tripped us.

When we notice our “lopsided different”, there is an awkward and tender moment. Our self image, our view of reality, is up for renegotiation. This brings great possibility, and likely a dollop of fear, as the ego mind likes to hold onto existing ideas.

When we choose to stay present with that moment, we stay open to opportunity. This allows easier change. More importantly, it creates a new habit. We are acclimating ourselves to overcoming fear and trusting in change through self reflection. Through the process of noticing “what we are doing”, we build a stronger and calmer self. Our “lopsided different” becomes our greatest resource.