That is NOT the way it is!

The way it is… a common saying, for sure. And it has its uses. Acceptance is good, often wise, and can be a great relief.

Resignation is not. Resignation is defeat, a choice to withdraw, to bail out, to endure pain and loss- all without engaged response. It is an abdication of our adult capacity. It always comes with a price.

What are you thinking is written in stone? How do you come to that conclusion? You might be right, especially if you set the bar for change too high, or make your time frame too short. Even stone expands and contracts with temperature changes. And water and wind will erode it. Everything changes.

We get leverage when we look for the tiny signs of change. Dynamic processes are often quiet and small. Remember being a child and getting a new math book? The problems toward the end were usually incomprehensible. By the end of the school year, some of that made sense. One page at a time, with some rest on the weekends, and we learned. We changed.  Did we remember it all? No. We changed again.

We get stronger. We get weaker. We learn, we forget. How do we forget we always are changing? Perhaps some of our mistaken belief in unchanging nature comes from sources who profit by suppressing our awareness of change. Fear is a powerful tool. We use it on each other, and we all use it on ourselves.

It’s worth asking “Do I have to scare myself to live well?”

Next we can focus in a bit closer asking “How am I limiting myself by feeding my fear?”

Is there some small way to experiment? Finding a useful perspective allow a sense of safety. It’s possible to learn to feel safer by working in smaller increments. We don’t have to change everything at once.

Looking closer at anything deepens perspective. Letting ourselves see more accurately is a skill, and skills can be built and strengthened. What is really written in stone? Maybe only stones.